Z — Day 15

We walked back to Pennypacker in silence. When we had a block left, Wes was a few steps ahead of me and I didn’t like it. He glanced back to smile, but his smile did not meet his eyes like before. I did not know this guy very well and should probably get to know him, I realized. But honestly, I did not care and that concerned me.

The ick, I’d heard someone call it. Such a perfect word for this shift in perspective. Maybe he felt it about me as well. Maybe this was the way of the ho-phase. Fall fast and hard until the goal is reached and move along to the next one.

I searched my emotions for reaction to shifts in him. Biologically, I should’ve been devastated. My whole world eclipsed by the finicky whims of the boy I’d just given my virginity to. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth of what I felt.

I watched as his stride lengthened and he widened distance between us. He had the slightest wedgy and the crack of his behind was crooked. His stark white socks showed at the base of his pants and the back of his hair was unbrushed and slept on. My face contorted and twisted until I stopped walking completely. He’d reached the entrance of Pennypacker and looked back to see that I wasn’t directly behind him. He pulled his wedgy and jogged back to join me at the base of the steps. His arms swayed weird as he jogged.

“What is it?” he asked, his swag mostly diminished.

I shook off my expression or tried to, at least. “I’ll go up alone,” I told him simply. He did not need any more details.

“Why?” he asked looking pitiful.

“I need sleep,” I said walking past him. “You should go home and sleep yourself.”

I pulled at Pennypacker’s door and looked back to him now standing at the bottom of the stairs instead of me. “Goodnight, Wesley.”

I again searched myself for sadness to find none, and wondered if I was a cold-hearted bitch or simply a pragmatic one.

“Sophia,” two familiar voices called my name simultaneously. And I knew immediately.

“Rosa and Eleanor,” I said before fast walking to hug them as a trio. “What are you doing here?”

“We caught the train.” Rosa held up an unopened I-phone package and Eleanor spoke. “This is for you. You’ve made national news.”

“No way,” I said looking around to see that every single person in the Pennypacker lobby stared at me. “Oh.”

“Did you really do it?” they asked together with a strange look on their faces. If I had to guess, I’d say it was the look of pride.

When I nodded, they hooked their arms onto mine and exited Pennypacker onto the street. “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere to talk about this in peace.”

People kept pointing and gawking at me as we walked. “You need a hat,” Eleanor said.

“And a mask,” Rosa added. “Let’s duck in here.”

She’d chosen a lamp-lit café and entered before me to block me from view. We did a beeline to the backmost table.

“Tell us.”

So, I did. And goodness it felt good to talk to someone I knew I could trust. After, I decided. Slowly, I opened my laptop, then my email, and showed them the message from Z.

“Zuckerberg?” they asked.

I shrugged. “Surely he wouldn’t be dumb enough to message me directly without some kind of middleman.”

“You really never know,” Eleanor said staring at the message. “Smart people are dumber than you think.”

I laughed remembering my sister’s deadpan humor. She’d left for Yale the year prior, so I’d completely forgotten. It was such a comfort. Rosa was busy setting up my phone but paused to reply. “Maybe you should investigate. Reply further and at least find out if it’s legit.”

“What would mom say?” I asked.

“Don’t you dare tell her!” they replied together. “She’d bring us all back to the farm.”

Eleanor turned the laptop toward her. “Here,” she said. “Allow me.”

I watched her type to sender.

You did not leave a name, and this is a generic email address. If you are real and not a bot, surely, you’d understand my hesitation. I need confirmation that you are a legitimate person before moving forward with any plans. Who are you? What is your position? And in detail, what is your interest in this App?

“Good with this?” she asked hovering her index finger over the send button.

“Pretty good…”

“Sent,” she said quickly. “Now, we wait.”

“What else have you been doing while developing viral apps in your dorm?” Rosa asked. “Not that you’d have time for much else.”

“Well,” I started. “I met a boy.”

“Oh God, why…”

I laughed. “He was cute.”

“Okay, well in that case Sophia,” Eleanor said. “It’s been three weeks. How do you fit it all in?”

“And what do you mean was?” Rosa asked. “It’s over already?”

“Did you sleep with him?” Eleanor asked.

“Eleanor!” Rosa scolded. “None of your business! Did you though?”

“Well…”

“You did!” they said. “Better to get it over with.”

I laughed and was grateful for their lack of judgement. “I cried after, but now, I don’t know.”

“Next time will be better,” they said.

“It’s a law,” Eleanor said. “Like relativity.”

“Or big bang,” Rosa laughed. “Did you orgasm?”

“Rosa!” Eleanor hollered. “Too far.”

“Kind of?” I replied in upspeak.

“Oh, that’s pitiful,” they said together.

“Here’s your phone,” Rosa said handing it to me. “Login to your app. Let’s see other options for you on campus.”

I stopped and thought about the ridiculous unlikelihood of the moment. There I was. Sitting in a Cambridge café with my twin sisters who, back in Alabama, barely spoke to anyone except one another. Freely discussing sex and boys and billionaires potentially. About to scroll an App I’d thrown together in a few days for a second love interest though the first helped me develop the thing in the first place. “This is a shitshow,” I said.

“Life,” said Eleanor. “Life done correctly is indeed a shitshow. Now, let’s see who’s winning.”

I had to create a login and password on the user end. No use trying to hide my identity from Deacon, so I used my real name and information on the login. The App really was beautifully designed with clever hints of Flavor Flav and old Flavor of Love lore. Clocks instead of hearts. A mansion in the background to eventually house the women contestants. And a pyramid like the one Flav used in the show revealing the male-lead placements.

“Cowboy’s dominating,” Eleanor said.

“Yum,” Rosa added.

I scrolled past the first ten, curious who else was in the running. “Why’d you pass.. Wait… What the hell are you…”

“Most of these guys are trying to buy the spot,” I said nonchalantly. “The Kennedy emailed offering five figures in exchange for the greatest number of clocks. And the Bush boy? That family is hilarious but obnoxious.”

Eleanor and Rosa leaned back on their shared bench seemingly in disbelief.

“What?” I asked my fingers still scrolling through endless Harvard squared off jaws.

“You’re a badass,” they said.

“How did we not know this back home?” Rosa asked Eleanor.

“I think we did,” said Eleanor. “She always won the debates. I think it was the chicken.”

“You’re right,” Rosa told her. “The chicken friendship threw us off. We secretly thought you were a bit of a weirdo.”

“Guys,” I said. “I’m right here.”

Eleanor petted mt shoulder. “A good weirdo though. Like the kind that changes the focus of the technological world in three business days or so.”

“Okay,” I said stopping on the guy in the seventy-seventh spot. “I like this one.”

“He looks like he’s dying,” Eleanor grabbed the phone and showed Rosa.

“Nope,” she replied. “He looks like he’s already dead. This is your type. No wonder that first one was a dud in the bed.”

I snatched the phone and just then, my laptop made a sound – incoming email. We turned our attention to the reply from Z. “Here we go.”

Sophia—

My name is Johnny and I’m sure you’ll understand that in my line of work, the digital footprint is a tricky, backbiting proposition. If you’d feel more comfortable, I can come to you instead. Would you like to meet in Weidner Library tomorrow at 3pm? If so, let me know and you’ll understand why I cannot divulge further here.

Z

“What should I do?” I asked looking from one twin to the other.

“We’ll go with you,” they replied.

“They won’t let anyone without an active Harvard ID inside the library,” I said just realizing this fact. “Is Z a student?”

“Or faculty,” said Eleanor.

“Or board member,” Rosa said.

Eleanor turned the laptop back toward her and typed:

Yes, see you then.

“Can I send?” she asked.

Rosa placed her hand over top mine. “We’ll be waiting outside.”

Eleanor nodded and I spoke. “Okay.”

“Sent,” she said. “I must say little sister. This is easily the strangest, coolest shit I’ve ever done in my life.”